Adventures in YoVille have been interesting as I compare them to real life. Gender is especially interesting while noting differences from the virtual reality to reality itself. One of the first things I noticed was the lack of males actually in each room I visited. Normally there were only two or three guys in each room I went to. Maybe males don’t really get online that much during the day or something, but they seemed like a true minority while I was online. In a lot of the rooms I visited, males would walk around while females sat on couches and chairs around the room. This happened a lot while I was online, and I think it reinforced the fact that we live in a male dominated society. The ideals that women are the submissive and men are the dominant are defiantly demonstrated in this virtual reality event rooms on YoVille. 
Even though there were a limited number of males online, I was able to have a few conversations with some people, who at least portrayed themselves as male avatars. During these conversations, the males dominated. The male asked all the questions, moved on from conversation and initiated it from what I saw. These goes along with the ideas of our society that males are in charge. Another interesting factor in this virtual world was that I saw some male avatars with female clothing, hair and other accessories. At first I didn’t think much about it, but after a while I started thinking about the freedom to choose your avatar’s gender and other factors. This made me think that maybe I was talking to a male, or maybe it was a female experimenting with the options of gender swapping. This sense of uncertainty in virtual worlds is part of the reason I was skeptical about joining at first. You always hear stories about old men meeting young girls or someone thinking they are talking to someone of a different gender. These stories are all too common, especially the ones surrounding gender disputes. Online relationships are very common, despite the uncertainties surrounding strangers. Would you ever have an internet relationship? Meet someone offline based solely on virtual world experiences? Does the idea of gender swapping make you more or less apprehensive about these online relationships?
I'll take each question in turn:
ReplyDelete*Would you ever have an internet relationship?
Back in web 1.0 (seriously, it may have been -.5 or something - I'm talking like 1995 on CompuServe) I had a great friend I met through an on-line discussion board on a common issue. In the sense of relationship as friendship, this set me up with a positive experience.
Through Facebook, I've made friendships with people who were in the program I coordinate ten or more years ago.
So, friendships, yes. I doubt I personally could or would develop a romantic relationship, though, because I greatly value the in-person interactions. I would say that the internet has helped maintain stronger communication in my relationship - both romantic and friendship.
*Meet someone offline based solely on virtual world experiences?
Hmmm... My gut response was "no." Not an emphatic, angry, or fearful no, just a no. I'm sure there could be a situation in which I may, but so far I haven't and that makes me feel I won't.
*Does the idea of gender swapping make you more or less apprehensive about these online relationships?
Exploring and subverting gender is something that is not uncommon in my non-virtual friendships, so it's not something that makes me apprehensive IRL or virtually. I guess the only apprehension I feel around this is the kind that CHris Jacobs (or whatever the MSNBC guy's name is) works so hard to instill in us - the fear of an older man posing as a younger person (male or female) to establish a power-imbalanced sexual relationship with a person too young to legally consent to sex.
Would you ever have an internet relationship? Meet someone offline based solely on virtual world experiences? Does the idea of gender swapping make you more or less apprehensive about these online relationships?
ReplyDeleteI don't think I could personally ever have an internet intimate love relationship. I use Facebook to keep in contact with people I have met in real life before but I think it would be a bit weird to just have a relationship with someone through a computer. I really enjoy face-to-face conversation and I don't really understand how you would ever truly get to know someone on a personal level? Then again -- different things work for different people. I have never been in an internet relationship but it may work if I tried? I don't really think it's for me though.
I would not meet someone offline soley based on virtual world experiences because like we were talking about in class an avatar can be anyone in real life. I just don't think I would feel that comfortable meeting someone in my real life based off of an ultimate "fake" or non realistic life online.
I do not think gender swapping is a bad thing because it is good to get a lot of different perspectives and to try and see the world, ideologies, and things from anothers perspective but I think anything having to do with the online world can get tricky and complicated. I think trying to relate and see things from a different perspective is good but being online can lead to other harmful things. I would rather try some gender swapping exercised in real life with people who are also interested in that topic!
Hello Kamiya!
ReplyDeleteWould you ever have an internet relationship?
I have toyed with the idea of online dating and even set up a profile on Match.com sans a photo. I have friends who had successful experiences dating people them met online. For a few months, I would get emails with the people who were supposed to be good matches for me. I was intrigued by a few of them, but I never went any further than looking at their profiles. I never did post a picture of myself (which is supposed to be the kiss of death when trying to attract an online mate) because I never had the chance to get the perfect picture. The best pictures I have are with other people and I thought that might send the wrong message (like I had a kid when I was actually posing with a niece). Truthfully, I told myself a lot of BS messages about people rejecting me, particularly because of my weight. I have heard that people take the pay dating sites more seriously so I have shied away from them. I have not ruled out having a romantic relationship with someone I met online. But for me I would also need face-to-face contact. Facebook has been a great place for me to reconnect with friends and family--I have found friends who I had not spoken with for 15 years and that makes me very happy. But it is not a place where I feel like I can create a serious relationship if I only met someone once on a casual basis.
Meet someone offline based solely on virtual world experiences?
I would consider meeting someone offline based solely on virtual world experience, but there would be conditions. I would need to feel like I was in a safe place, both physically and emotionally. I would want both of us to be able to back out of the experience at any time if either of us got really uncomfortable. I would also know that I would need to have realistic expectations of what the person might be like because the virtual world persona doesn't necessarily match the offline one.
Does the idea of gender swapping make you more or less apprehensive about these online relationships?
Yes and no. If someone intentionally tried to deceive me about their gender (or race, age, etc.), I would probably be upset. I am ok with experimenting with gender online--I would just want the person to be honest with me if we were to meet face-to-face. I guess in the back of my head I would be wondering what else that person might be hiding if they intentionally tried to deceive me about identity matters.
Would you ever have an internet relationship?
ReplyDeleteI've toyed around a little with Match.com. I set up a profile without a picture (the supposed kiss of death when it comes to online dating websites). I got some emails with possible matches from the website. I considered following up with a few people, but never did. I did not put any $ down so I could not communicate with any of my matches. I still think about making a concerted effort on another dating website, but I have not been able to get through some of the messages from myself and others like, "Guys are not interested in big girls," and "More serious people use for-pay dating websites, but they are expensive!" I think it might be a good way to meet someone, but I would want face-to-face time with the person. Facebook has been a great way for me to reconnect with friends and family, but not to make new friends. That seems pretty common for people in my age group.
Meet someone offline based solely on virtual world experiences?
Maybe, but I would want to meet in a space that was physically and emotionally safe for both of us so either of us could leave at any time if we were uncomfortable.
Does the idea of gender swapping make you more or less apprehensive about these online relationships?
More if I was to meet someone and they intentionally misrepresented gender, age, race, etc. If I had no intention of meeting f2f, I don't think it would be so much of an issue.
Would you ever have an internet relationship?: I am completely against having an internet relationship, with a complete stranger. It is not something I am interested in now, or ever see myself being interested in. Since there is no face to face interaction, which is a pretty key factor in my definition of a relationship, you have no idea who the person actually is.
ReplyDeleteMeet someone offline based solely on virtual world experiences?: This being said I would also be highly against meeting up with a person offline. Again, you have no idea who the person really is and I would not be willing to take the risk of meeting up. Having no knowledge as to if the person's identity is anything close to what they are portraying to you could be potentially dangerous. Its pretty much a shot in the dark, the person could be honest with good intention, or completely crazy with other motives for meeting.
Does the idea of gender swapping make you more or less apprehensive about these online relationships? : With that being said, obviously the idea of gender swapping makes me extremely apprehensive about online relationships. There is no relegation of identities online so anyone can be anyone they want to be, which is scary, especially if you end up meeting up with someone who is crazy.
I would never have a relationship with a person online. If you can’t physically ever touch that person it isn’t much of a real relationship. I once was dating a girl that went to UC and she went to Germany to live for 8 months while on a CO-OP and I couldn’t even make that work. Granted I had only dated her for 2 months and she was going to be gone for 8 months but that’s beyond the point. So me personally I could never have an online relationship because I am way too physical of a person. You need to be able to physically touch that person and spend real time with that person.
ReplyDeleteI would never meet someone off a virtual world experience because you would really have no idea who that person is. I would never do that you would have to speak with that person on the phone or talk to them online in a real live video chat such as Skype. People in a cartoon or virtual world would never be good to meet because you really have no idea what’s going on with that person or who it is. I’m sure that it might work out for some people and there are reasons why people do it it’s just not for me. Maybe if you were older and haven’t found someone it would be a good time to try and do this. But if you are able bodied and of a decent age I feel like you should get out and meet people other ways, like really talking to them.
The idea of gender swapping doesn’t really concern me with having a relationship with someone online because I am not going to have a relationship with someone that I don’t really know online. But If I were to like I said before I would at least try and talk to that person on the phone or talk to them on Skype if I was really trying to have a relationship with that person on Yoville or second life or whatever. If I decided I really wanted to talk to that person you should at least Skype them. So you can actually see what they really look like and really are all about at least once.